Thursday, October 20, 2011

Love & Embrace Your Fear(s)...Then Let It Go!

A friend of mine on facebook posted, "...I am SO EXCITED and SCARED!!!..." My response to the post was embrace and talk to your fear and let it go.  It reminded me of so many times I've had to face my fears...even recently.

I've taken many leaps off ledges into my fears just this year alone.  Homeschooling our daughter, becoming a first client, studying to become a midwife...helping my friend deliver her baby at home.  All can be a tad fearful if never experienced before, but what I have learned with past fears, is that it didn't kill me!  If anything, I learned a lot about myself and whomever or whatever was involved in the situation.  Here lately, my husband and I have been intensely discussing LEAVING this great state of Texas...not knowing where we want to go or end up.  At first, I had a little fear because I've never left Texas, hell, leaving Dallas was a huge leap in itself!  I had to really search within, why I was was fear of the unknown...then my fear turned into excitement.  I realized that in that moment, I embraced my fear then let it go.

During my midwifery studies, I find myself having a similar fear.  First, was the fear of not knowing what I'm doing...when indeed I's called trusting your intuition!  Fear embraced & let go!  While digging a little deeper and watching more and more videos and reading blogs of women just empowered by the simple fact they listened to their bodies and not outside had me thinking about expanding our own family.  While it has already begun to expand and the outcome hasn't been as "planned", that began the fear.  Then thinking about other's feelings in the event we did become pregnant (their jealousy, their self pity, their ANGER, etc.) created even more fear because I don't want people to feel what I certainly don't want to feel.  Then the doosey...fear of having children and not being able to juggle my "job" outside of the home as well as my "job" inside the home.  Now, I'm looking at myself like WTF?!  Why are YOU continually getting in YOUR way?

I must say, those fears weren't going away until I dealt with them, embrace them and let them go!  First, I am aware that having no expectations lead to clearly seeing the lesson being taught to you.  Second, how people feel is just how people are going to feel.  If that's their emotion, THEY need to deal with their OWN emotion.  No need to let how someone else feels to steal the peace, love & joy YOU have...taking you out of your character!  If they have jealousy, self pity, anger, etc., then there is a FEAR they themselves have not been able to embrace and let go of...YET!  Lead by example!  Last, but certainly not least, I realize, "I GOT THIS!"  I have a juggling act now...why have a fear of adding a few extra "balls" to the routine?! :-)

Once I was able to recognize the fear, acknowledge it, talk to it, and give it some love....I was able to let it go!  My ego may let it creep in...but it certainly isn't for long...if it creeps in at all!  I'm ok with whatever emotion I may feel at whatever moment, especially fear.  I automatically know that there is something I gotta deal with before I move forward learning a new lesson!  And we have a lot of learning to do!

Wake up, let it go (your fears) & Love!

Have a beautiful day everyONE!  I love YOU!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I LOVE Hair!

I absolutely LOVE doing hair!  I love the textures that vary among hands just running across or through someone's hair fascinates me every time!  I also think that some are so obsessed with hair that they don't appreciate the hair they were born with.

When I first decided to become a cosmetologist, I only wanted to do "black hair"...then I realized how close-minded and how empty my pockets would be (turning clients away since all I was going to do is "black hair") if I didn't expand my thinking.  Fourteen years later, I find myself going around the world, pretty much, just in my little station at the salon...Africa, Middle East, Asia, even this melting pot of the USA has varieties in itself...but one thing remains the same, being LOVING to your hair (and YOU).

I was reading a blog earlier, catering to black women that want to achieve longer hair.  The first thing it recommended was getting a hair cut.  Those two little words seem to put most women of any race in a state of shock!  I myself have been a victim of scissor happy stylists myself, but guess what?  It always grows back, and is HEALTHY!!!  Whatever you want to refer to this maintenance as (hair cut, big chop, trim), this is something that should occur at least every 4-6 weeks.  I have clients that do request chemical services (color &/or relaxer), so I advise them to get a trim (1/2 inch to 1 inch) every time they get a retouch.  A retouch occurs about every 4-6 weeks.

I have no problem with over the counter shampoos and conditioners.  I do think we should be more mindful what we put on our hair.  Products that contain a lot of alcohol tend to dry our hair out.  Too much grease or oil tend to clog our hair follicles, thus causing a build up of our natural oils in additions to what has been applied.  Our goal should be finding the appropriate moisture for our hair.  Some hair does require more moisture than others...notice I said MOISTURE.

Lately, I have noticed more dry scalp with ethnic hair, whether it be relaxed or natural.  I think I came up with an pre-shampoo oil treatment to help with the scalp issue...stay tuned on that one.  It does also have me motivated to get into making more products that are more natural with herbs and essential oils.  The few products I have made tend to give more moisture and less build up than products I have bought at the beauty supply.

Shampooing your hair on a regular basis, with a good shampoo, helps as well.  Shampooing everyday strips your natural oils and causes your oil glands to work that much harder to keep up with what you continue to remove...hence, "I have to wash my hair everyday or it will look greasy!"  If anything, rinse your hair, apply some conditioner, good to go!  At the most you should shampoo your hair every 2-3 days, once a week if you can.  Doing the opposite, NOT shampooing your hair for a long period of time isn't any better...that's just gross! :-)  I have definitely has someone in my chair that hasn't used shampoo as little as two weeks and as long as a year...yuck!

One last thing, to my sistahs, going back natural...Enjoy your journey!  I know it can be a challenge, but there are no more limitations!  If you are desiring to go natural but not comfortable with the big chop, do it in stages, no one will judge you.  It's your hair, your body, your know what's best for YOU!  I had to get there the same way (twice)...and definitely have NO regrets!

The point is take care of you and take care of your hair.  Your hair just like the rest of your body will tell you what it needs...if you just LISTEN!  If you go to a stylist to get your hair done, don't just rely on them to do all the work for you.  You have to do some work at home until your next appointment for professional maintenance, however often that may be.  Also, your stylist should educate you on how to achieve such things, not taking all the credit for your hair being as healthy as it is.  It's a group effort!

Wake up, let it go & LOVE (what you were given & received...YOU)!

Monday, October 3, 2011

...The Revolution Will Not Be Televised...

Gil Scott Heron said it best, "The revolution will not be televised...but it will be live!"  I see what a LIVE news feed via the social network is capable of doing.

Just over the weekend, I have seen updates of Occupy Wall Street...taking over the Brooklyn Bridge!  I have seen reports of Occupy Chicago, protests in Boston with Bank of America and even a close friend of mine fighting for what's right in her own community in Dallas, TX, by going on a hunger strike (Shout out to Jennifer Thibeaux...check out her story on Facebook)!  These things are amazing and are reaching us by our own voices, NOT THE LYING ASS MEDIA!!!  I love it!

I personally am not out there protesting (at the moment), but I feel I'm there in spirit.  I feel like I'm protesting in my own way here at home, and it shows in various ways.  I often think of the quote, "Be the change you want to see in the world!"  The few things I am passionate about at this time is my child(ren)'s education and how we welcome these beautiful beings into the world!  Obviously, we are living in a time where everyone is "...mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"  I have been that way for a while and slowly but surely my journey is showing me the way on my path.

I believe that it does take a village to raise a child...I believe that knowledge is power and with the right tools of knowledge, parents will make an informed decision of how they want to birth their babies into this world...with or without my assistance as a midwife or doula...and with all the resources out there, educating our children rather then relying on the state we reside to program our children how to take a test.

Before I began this blog entry, two amazing things happened...both by black men!  First, was a post that I was tagged on, from a friend of mine, sharing a story about parents choosing home birth as opposed to hospital birth.  The other was a friend having respect not only for himself but me as a mother, to make sure it was OK to accept a friend request from my daughter via Facebook.  IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN!  I am so proud to see not only men, but black men making their voice heard...taking the time to gain knowledge as well as share it.  To not be ashamed for having a relationship with a child, to assist in her growth and experience as a spiritual being having a human experience, not thinking the relationship as "improper".  Last but certainly not least, my husband, who I have seen grow as a father, regardless if that child is his biologically or not...and a child that made the decision on her own to address and acknowledge him as her "Pop"!  I want to see this happen with EVERY community; however, as a black woman and my first focus is my black community, I applaud it when I see it happening!  So many times it gets ignored, yet we still have much work to do!

There is a revolution occurring, and it surely IS NOT always televised, it is happening in our NOW!  Are you awake?!  What are YOU ready to change in the world?

Wake up, let it go & LOVE!  Have a beautiful day everyONE!  I love YOU!