Monday, November 14, 2011

A New Adventure

Well, it's been a while since my last blog entry.  So much has been going on that sometimes words cannot describe.

My family and I recently took a trip to New Orleans.  This was a first visit for my daughter and I, my husband's second or third I  Anyhow, it was a pretty awesome visit.  So awesome that an opportunity presented itself for us to start up our own business...with mentors!

Fast forward, we are now in the process of packing up and moving out (so long's been fun)!  This isn't some spur of the moment thing, we've been ready to move, just didn't know exactly where yet.  This is what happens when you just go with the flow and pay attention when the universe is speaking, I think.  We are so excited because the possibilities are endless!  I truly see dreams being created and them manifesting right before my eyes.

I don't want to reveal the business as of yet...stay's still in the development phase.  What really excites me is the fact that my doula/midwife studies will manifest into a good business as well in NOLA.  A place where you can truly start up your own business with opportunity to contribute towards the rebuilding of a community, I LOVE IT!  As my daughter says, "Spread the love!"  This was my first visit, but I felt as if I had been there many times before, and might have been in a previous

Something my aunt told me recently, "Go where you are appreciated or celebrated, not where you are tolerated."  The love we felt while there, pretty much summed it up for us!  So, for now, it's off to a new adventure...and definitely more dreams being created and manifesting!  Wake up, let it go & LOVE!  Have a beautiful day everyONE!  I love YOU!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Love & Embrace Your Fear(s)...Then Let It Go!

A friend of mine on facebook posted, "...I am SO EXCITED and SCARED!!!..." My response to the post was embrace and talk to your fear and let it go.  It reminded me of so many times I've had to face my fears...even recently.

I've taken many leaps off ledges into my fears just this year alone.  Homeschooling our daughter, becoming a first client, studying to become a midwife...helping my friend deliver her baby at home.  All can be a tad fearful if never experienced before, but what I have learned with past fears, is that it didn't kill me!  If anything, I learned a lot about myself and whomever or whatever was involved in the situation.  Here lately, my husband and I have been intensely discussing LEAVING this great state of Texas...not knowing where we want to go or end up.  At first, I had a little fear because I've never left Texas, hell, leaving Dallas was a huge leap in itself!  I had to really search within, why I was was fear of the unknown...then my fear turned into excitement.  I realized that in that moment, I embraced my fear then let it go.

During my midwifery studies, I find myself having a similar fear.  First, was the fear of not knowing what I'm doing...when indeed I's called trusting your intuition!  Fear embraced & let go!  While digging a little deeper and watching more and more videos and reading blogs of women just empowered by the simple fact they listened to their bodies and not outside had me thinking about expanding our own family.  While it has already begun to expand and the outcome hasn't been as "planned", that began the fear.  Then thinking about other's feelings in the event we did become pregnant (their jealousy, their self pity, their ANGER, etc.) created even more fear because I don't want people to feel what I certainly don't want to feel.  Then the doosey...fear of having children and not being able to juggle my "job" outside of the home as well as my "job" inside the home.  Now, I'm looking at myself like WTF?!  Why are YOU continually getting in YOUR way?

I must say, those fears weren't going away until I dealt with them, embrace them and let them go!  First, I am aware that having no expectations lead to clearly seeing the lesson being taught to you.  Second, how people feel is just how people are going to feel.  If that's their emotion, THEY need to deal with their OWN emotion.  No need to let how someone else feels to steal the peace, love & joy YOU have...taking you out of your character!  If they have jealousy, self pity, anger, etc., then there is a FEAR they themselves have not been able to embrace and let go of...YET!  Lead by example!  Last, but certainly not least, I realize, "I GOT THIS!"  I have a juggling act now...why have a fear of adding a few extra "balls" to the routine?! :-)

Once I was able to recognize the fear, acknowledge it, talk to it, and give it some love....I was able to let it go!  My ego may let it creep in...but it certainly isn't for long...if it creeps in at all!  I'm ok with whatever emotion I may feel at whatever moment, especially fear.  I automatically know that there is something I gotta deal with before I move forward learning a new lesson!  And we have a lot of learning to do!

Wake up, let it go (your fears) & Love!

Have a beautiful day everyONE!  I love YOU!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I LOVE Hair!

I absolutely LOVE doing hair!  I love the textures that vary among hands just running across or through someone's hair fascinates me every time!  I also think that some are so obsessed with hair that they don't appreciate the hair they were born with.

When I first decided to become a cosmetologist, I only wanted to do "black hair"...then I realized how close-minded and how empty my pockets would be (turning clients away since all I was going to do is "black hair") if I didn't expand my thinking.  Fourteen years later, I find myself going around the world, pretty much, just in my little station at the salon...Africa, Middle East, Asia, even this melting pot of the USA has varieties in itself...but one thing remains the same, being LOVING to your hair (and YOU).

I was reading a blog earlier, catering to black women that want to achieve longer hair.  The first thing it recommended was getting a hair cut.  Those two little words seem to put most women of any race in a state of shock!  I myself have been a victim of scissor happy stylists myself, but guess what?  It always grows back, and is HEALTHY!!!  Whatever you want to refer to this maintenance as (hair cut, big chop, trim), this is something that should occur at least every 4-6 weeks.  I have clients that do request chemical services (color &/or relaxer), so I advise them to get a trim (1/2 inch to 1 inch) every time they get a retouch.  A retouch occurs about every 4-6 weeks.

I have no problem with over the counter shampoos and conditioners.  I do think we should be more mindful what we put on our hair.  Products that contain a lot of alcohol tend to dry our hair out.  Too much grease or oil tend to clog our hair follicles, thus causing a build up of our natural oils in additions to what has been applied.  Our goal should be finding the appropriate moisture for our hair.  Some hair does require more moisture than others...notice I said MOISTURE.

Lately, I have noticed more dry scalp with ethnic hair, whether it be relaxed or natural.  I think I came up with an pre-shampoo oil treatment to help with the scalp issue...stay tuned on that one.  It does also have me motivated to get into making more products that are more natural with herbs and essential oils.  The few products I have made tend to give more moisture and less build up than products I have bought at the beauty supply.

Shampooing your hair on a regular basis, with a good shampoo, helps as well.  Shampooing everyday strips your natural oils and causes your oil glands to work that much harder to keep up with what you continue to remove...hence, "I have to wash my hair everyday or it will look greasy!"  If anything, rinse your hair, apply some conditioner, good to go!  At the most you should shampoo your hair every 2-3 days, once a week if you can.  Doing the opposite, NOT shampooing your hair for a long period of time isn't any better...that's just gross! :-)  I have definitely has someone in my chair that hasn't used shampoo as little as two weeks and as long as a year...yuck!

One last thing, to my sistahs, going back natural...Enjoy your journey!  I know it can be a challenge, but there are no more limitations!  If you are desiring to go natural but not comfortable with the big chop, do it in stages, no one will judge you.  It's your hair, your body, your know what's best for YOU!  I had to get there the same way (twice)...and definitely have NO regrets!

The point is take care of you and take care of your hair.  Your hair just like the rest of your body will tell you what it needs...if you just LISTEN!  If you go to a stylist to get your hair done, don't just rely on them to do all the work for you.  You have to do some work at home until your next appointment for professional maintenance, however often that may be.  Also, your stylist should educate you on how to achieve such things, not taking all the credit for your hair being as healthy as it is.  It's a group effort!

Wake up, let it go & LOVE (what you were given & received...YOU)!

Monday, October 3, 2011

...The Revolution Will Not Be Televised...

Gil Scott Heron said it best, "The revolution will not be televised...but it will be live!"  I see what a LIVE news feed via the social network is capable of doing.

Just over the weekend, I have seen updates of Occupy Wall Street...taking over the Brooklyn Bridge!  I have seen reports of Occupy Chicago, protests in Boston with Bank of America and even a close friend of mine fighting for what's right in her own community in Dallas, TX, by going on a hunger strike (Shout out to Jennifer Thibeaux...check out her story on Facebook)!  These things are amazing and are reaching us by our own voices, NOT THE LYING ASS MEDIA!!!  I love it!

I personally am not out there protesting (at the moment), but I feel I'm there in spirit.  I feel like I'm protesting in my own way here at home, and it shows in various ways.  I often think of the quote, "Be the change you want to see in the world!"  The few things I am passionate about at this time is my child(ren)'s education and how we welcome these beautiful beings into the world!  Obviously, we are living in a time where everyone is "...mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"  I have been that way for a while and slowly but surely my journey is showing me the way on my path.

I believe that it does take a village to raise a child...I believe that knowledge is power and with the right tools of knowledge, parents will make an informed decision of how they want to birth their babies into this world...with or without my assistance as a midwife or doula...and with all the resources out there, educating our children rather then relying on the state we reside to program our children how to take a test.

Before I began this blog entry, two amazing things happened...both by black men!  First, was a post that I was tagged on, from a friend of mine, sharing a story about parents choosing home birth as opposed to hospital birth.  The other was a friend having respect not only for himself but me as a mother, to make sure it was OK to accept a friend request from my daughter via Facebook.  IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN!  I am so proud to see not only men, but black men making their voice heard...taking the time to gain knowledge as well as share it.  To not be ashamed for having a relationship with a child, to assist in her growth and experience as a spiritual being having a human experience, not thinking the relationship as "improper".  Last but certainly not least, my husband, who I have seen grow as a father, regardless if that child is his biologically or not...and a child that made the decision on her own to address and acknowledge him as her "Pop"!  I want to see this happen with EVERY community; however, as a black woman and my first focus is my black community, I applaud it when I see it happening!  So many times it gets ignored, yet we still have much work to do!

There is a revolution occurring, and it surely IS NOT always televised, it is happening in our NOW!  Are you awake?!  What are YOU ready to change in the world?

Wake up, let it go & LOVE!  Have a beautiful day everyONE!  I love YOU!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Did We Get Disconnected?!

"...People still don't like each other...even our kids don't bring us together..." That is a verse from a song by Kindred The Family Soul entitled "We All Will Know".  I look around in the world and this verse constantly comes up...hence the music video of life is playing (lol).  How did we get disconnected, not only from each other but from OURSELVES?!

Every aspect of my life there is this disconnection that I know I am not the only one that sees it so vividly.  As a hairstylist, sistahs don't like what they see in the mirror to the point they disguise them from themselves with lace fronts & quick weaves, forgetting what they actually look like or who they are.  Our mothers and their mothers have talked so negatively about the hair they were born with instead of embracing what they have and being creative; not trying to look like someone on TV.  As a teacher, I see the disconnect in my child with her imagination and learning.  Teaching in public school involves learning how to take a test that limits ANY imagination...even the teachers lose their desire to expand their imagination to's all about that testing...gotta love politics!  As a doula, some women have a disconnect with themselves, not trusting their own intuition and trusting a medical professional, a surgeon at that, to tell them how THEY should be giving birth.  And continuing to trust the profession to diagnose their children conditions never heard of until recently.  Why are we not trusting ourselves???  Am I the only one seeing this disconnection?

I have grown so weary of human beings not getting along!  We are killing ourselves while blaming others for attempting to kill us and don't even realize it sometimes.  I noticed that it begins as soon as we are conceived in the womb, not as soon as we are born into this world.  Women getting pregnant and men getting women pregnant as a form of manipulation...that sometimes works and in most cases backfires...then that creates a disconnection....babymama/babydaddy drama!  People not loving themselves with enough respect so they are disrespectful to anyone who crosses their path because they look out for #1!  There is nothing wrong with loving you...but understand loving you is what helps you to love others, not be selfish with your love.  I understand we have been hurt at various levels of our lives, but have you ever asked yourself WHY you feel so hurt and WHY you feel you need others to feel hurt too?  This is something that we, as adults, need to get to the root of the problem, or our children are going to (and some are) repeat(ing) the cycle we constantly complain about and THINK there is no hope of breaking.

I am thankful that my eyes are open to such a disconnection.  It answers the question, "why am I here?", for me.  At times, I feel like a therapist or a life coach, but that's not what I want to do.  I want to begin the healing from the womb and let it grow from there.  I want my brothers and sisters to know that life is precious...not a medical procedure you go have surgery and leave with a baby.  It's so much more than that.  If anything, it is a spiritual process that helps us, as spiritual beings having a human experience.  It helps us to see just how amazing and powerful we are.  The drugs that are developed to "prevent" pain, are already within us, in it's natural state, not a synthetic one.  It shows us that even though we have our own emotions that WE have to deal with ourselves, we are able to put aside to bring a new life into the world.  I feel that is where we will begin to RECONNECT...

Another song by Kindred chorus that goes a little something like this:

And I never take for granted love
Cuz I know the words you're speaking of
When you sing about the ones you love
Know that we are ONE
We are creation
Every single ONE of us
LOVE has no recession

Maybe if we think about these words, we will begin to like each other and our kids bring us together!  That doesn't mean fall in love with the person or people you have children with...understand there is a level of LOVE there, or you wouldn't have children in the first place.  Just because it isn't a love you expected (we always expect more...gotta love that doesn't mean we cannot get along, at least for our children.  What do you want them to learn from YOU?

Like my daughter says, "I just want everyone to get along so we can play!"  I'd rather play on the playground we call Earth than fight with whomever; destroying not only ourselves, but our home!

Wake up, let it go & love!  Have a beautiful day everyONE!  I love YOU!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Family Dynamics...

I often think about the scripture regarding a man leaving his father and mother and clinging to his wife. I also thought this was weird because I thought, "How can you leave your family behind that raised you once you are married?" I also thought it only applied to men, not women. HA! The experiences I have had not only in my adult life, but married life as well thus far, the message is loud and clear. I have more clarity in what this truly means.

I have struggled with a back and forth, with my mother, many do not know about. Many longtime friends of mine have a picture of my mother and I being thick as thieves, when you saw one, you saw the other. I also noticed that my mother was perfectly happy with our family dynamic, but what about my life? What about what I want to do...maybe have a husband and more kids? Once I decided to break the vicious cycle that my grandmother created and my mother wanted to continue, things changed. I felt like I was being punished for finally saying NO to my parents. That wasn't the was the beginning stages of my leaving my father and mother and beginning my own family.

Fastforward to mother attempts to continue that cycle without me, her only daughter. She found a "replacement" for me in her best friend (she hasn't gotten the memo that I cannot be of a kind here!) & even attempts to pull my daughter into that unhealthy nonsense. I feel I have broken a cycle whose end is long overdue, and in the process I have noticed that the more love and freedom I display towards the family I have known since birth they have dismissed themselves one by one.  I had to realize, it wasn't me that changed my love, it was them changing their love towards me.  While I choose not to place conditions and judgments on my love, judgments and conditions seem to be placed on me by them.  The initial reaction is shock & anger, but not so much anymore.  Dramas not entertained, soon fades away.  I have done and said all I can, openly and honestly to the ones I love...and I am aware that my decisions they may not always agree with and that is ok.  My parents taught me how to love, whether they were good experiences or bad ones, I took the lesson...and I am yet learning another valuable one.

Not only are family members running their course, but some long time friends who I consider my family are dismissing themselves as well.  I am beginning to notice a tell people the TRUTH, and they begin to not like you so much when it's really themselves they aren't liking in that moment.  It could be only my truth but I choose not to live behind a facade and if I see it in front of me, I am going to fight through the illusion.  One of my "sisters" said something to me the other day about my husband and I, "One thing I know about y'all is whatever/whoever leaves it sure does make its way back to ya!"  How true indeed.  I have seen people (even animals...LOL) come and go out of my life based on arrogance, never to be seen again. But there are some, whom I may have the craziest connection with...will leave and come back and it be like no time was lost between us. 

Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do...I'm learning that if you KNOW there is a place of love for them in your heart, you never really say "goodbye" because love is always going to be there!  I pray that one day, all the ones that physically leave my life truly understand how it is I never left or even said goodbye!

Wake up, let it go & LOVE!  Make it beautiful everyONE!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

The Babies Are Coming...

It seems just about everyday I hear a new life is on its way! I am so overjoyed to hear because one, who doesn't love welcoming a new life into the world, especially the New Age we are entering; the other reason is it expands my ability to be of service to others.  Therefore, I advertise my services...tell a friend!

Celestial Beginnings Doula Services
"Connecting the euphoric touch within the family circle"

Leah Register
(713) 689-0382

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

A Transition Into Childbirth

I have been doing hair for the last 15 years and within the past year and a half I have become awakened to a new direction on my path in this journey they call life.  Almost a year ago, I decided I was going to become certified as a doula (birthing coach) and later down the road become a certified midwife.  The more and more I research, the more I receive this "push" to move forward.

My childbirth experience was in a hospital...7 weeks before my "guess date".  I had the pitocin, the epidural...even the episiotomy.  I have no regrets because regardless of how early my daughter decided to come into this world, I never lost my power, my voice!  I remember the one thing I repeated to my doctor was, "I will NOT be having a C-Section..."  I even remember one of the nurses attempting to instill fear in me while signing paperwork, because my choices didn't fit with her opinions.  I believe one thing that medical staff get twisted is that the patient, and all human beings, have a choice!  I witnessed this with my first client, as a doula.  I heard "induction" so many times, from the nurses to the residents, like it was a science experiment about to be performed!  My client made her voice heard every moment..."NOPE!"  She stuck to what she decided she was going to do...even when she hit a brick wall, she had already decided what her alternative was going to be, and made it known without hesitation. 

The documentaries I've seen and stories I hear via social networking and in person, make my heart just cry.  So many women wanting to have an awesome experience and others that have robbed women of such a joyous occasion.  These stories awakened me to see that there is such a disconnection going on when it comes to childbirth, at least in the U.S.  People are more occupied being of service to themselves rather than being of service to others.  If your profession is to deliver babies, shouldn't there be an understanding that things should happen in their own time?  Have medical professionals gotten so consumed with their own time that they rush childbirth, and at the same time creating possible risks towards the mother and child?  Is the government and insurance agencies and pharmaceutical companies so intertwined that midwifery is illegal in most states?

Everyone is entitled to their, birthing center or at home.  I am an advocate for, not only women, but their partners having their voice heard.  A couple/family's wishes being respected via their birth plan and not being criticized for it.  I tell clients the plan is to have no plan...have alternatives.  What if I can't handle the pain, what would be an alternative?  What if labor isn't going well at home and I need further assistance?  Everyone's situation is different but one thing remains the same...having children has been going on long before the medical industry came along.  It is a natural experience in life.  If women trust their bodies, their intuition and not be afraid to speak her voice...amazing things happen!  Without interventions, your body will produce it's own drug that no company can re-create...they come close...but not quite!

My next birth experience my husband & I choose to be at home, with a birthing husband says I'm gonna be the one delivering the baby...we'll see!  Congrats to those expecting...remember...GRAVITY is your friend during labor! Wake up, let it go & love!

Friday, August 19, 2011

It's Been A While...

It has been a while since I have blogged and I will tell you why.  I felt a lot of chaos happening around me and within...and I had to just shut down and listen to the silence within.  That may sound foreign to some but hear me out...

I found myself attempting to find logic in the illogical...why are we not getting along? Is it something I am doing, or am I missing something? Should I stay or should I go? Should I step in and say something or just leave it be? Various questions in my head so much so I wasn't listening to my heart, where my truth rests patiently to be seen. I found myself about to relive past events, react the same way, only to get the same result yet again.  This time, I decided to change and not repeat the past. I realized in order to not repeat the past I must listen to my heart. In order to understand what I presently experience, I must listen to my heart.  Shutting down the "chatter" of multiple questions in my head, attempting to find logic, forced me into a quiet place and it was amazing.  It showed me my present isn't so different from my past.  Understanding my emotions in the past helps me determine my emotions in my present. I was such an asshole...serving and only thinking of myself, not taking other's emotions into consideration, only mine.  What is different NOW...I can be that asshole, but I know it limits me from helping others, showing them the love I give myself.  I also realize that family, friends, babymamas and even babydaddys may have to remove themselves from your reality, but how YOU respond, keeping a place of love for them in YOUR heart...they will awaken when the time is right on their path.  It's not an easy road, I'm just glad I understand the directions a little bit better...

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Happy School Year!

Everyone is getting ready for back to school on some level.  Our family has taken the leap to start homeschooling this year.  I'm finding this school year being less rushing for uniforms, school supplies and even supplies the teacher's choose to add to the school supply list for the kids...smh

It's pretty awesome taking back your child's education, saying 'no more' to the testing instead of teaching. This summer has been a trial run, working out the kinks to make this as smooth a transition as possible not only for our daughter but for us as well.  Home schooling connects with everything in our life; even the dynamics of work is changing before our very eyes. This is an opportunity to be creative with how a child learns.  She even has a say in her education with one simple question, "What do you want to learn today?"  It's amazing how much a child, a preteen at that, opens up and is quite verbal what she wants to learn.

I know not everyone has the means to homeschool their child(ren)...I thought I was one of those people until I decided to leap ("I'm mad as hell, and I'm not taking it anymore!").  I encourage every parent, not matter where your child goes to school, you do have a voice! A lot of these teachers crave your support to make a change in the school system.  Can you imagine what would happen if parents and teachers unite against the government dumbing our kids down with testing....and testing for what?!  My daughter may not be in public school anymore, but I will continue to fight for the babies...their parents have to want to fight too, as well as the teachers!

So here is to a happy school year to everyone...let's make some history and change it up...who's with me?!  Wake up, let it go & love!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

What Can I Make Today?

There is something enjoyable about creating. I'm finding myself creating everyday. It started with creating my own hair gel. That expanded into the idea of creating hair products, which are in the works. 

Have you ever noticed how much money we spend buying items that are made by someone else?  Why don't we take out the time to create with our own two hands?  Not only can creating be amazing to our self esteem, it can bring cost savings to the household.  I've begun looking around the house, looking at ways I can save while making everyday household items. Just today, I realized instead of buying more laundry detergent, I could make some of my own that would wash more loads of clothes and still be a savings of at least $0.16 per load.  It doesn't seem like a lot but at the end of the year, you would be surprised how much you saved.

My creativity has expand into educating my daughter via home school. Science class will consist of making hair gel, detergent, other household products.  I have also gotten back sewing...home economics...oh there is no limit!

It's time to start creating...let your creative juices flow!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Routines, Habits & Rituals

For the past couple years, I have joined my husband with fasting.  At first, we would fast the first 21 days of the new year...only eating and drinking after sundown, no alcohol, no sugar, sodas, juices...even no sex.  This year we changed it up and decided to fast the first 7 days of the new year and the first 3 days of every month.  A nice recharge at the beginning of every month.

Last month, there was an awakening. My husband asked this one question, "What is the point?"  Definitely a good question I had to ask myself.  What is the point of fasting if only to go back to drinking alcohol, sodas/juices & eating sugar...and definitely sex (lol).  Granted, fasting also would lead to some sort of awakening for me.  I truly believe that what occurred last month was yet another awakening.  The first 3 days of this month, we didn't fast...and it felt as good as fasting!  That led me to the conclusion, "There is no we have been conducting our fast, it no longer serves a purpose for me and that's ok."  I am finding that my body will do it's own version of fasting, which happened a couple days ago.

Just that one routine had me thinking about all of the routines, habits and rituals that we all have collected throughout our lives.  The ones we set for ourselves as well as the ones that were set by our parental units.  If we do something repetitive for whatever reason, why do we do it...what is the point?  If it is something that we have grown tired of doing over and over, why do we continue to do it?  Fasting is just one aspect of my life that is evolving into something else.  I even find employment evolving for me.  I use to be so focused on that office job, knowing my pay I will receive every pay period, then I got to a point I didn't want to be confined like that anymore.  I missed doing hair so that's what I went back to.  I enjoy what I do thoroughly, however I see it evolving into something right before my eyes.  Seeing things change for me use to be scary but as I grow I embrace the keeps life exciting.  I am also finding that it isn't too unknown because we are given clues and messages all day every day in this Universe that guides us on our path.  It's up to us to pay attention to what is received as much as we pay attention to what it is we give to this Universe.

Everyday I ask myself what routine, habit or ritual am I willing to put to the side, or end, to see what new thing will occur in my life.  I know whatever the new thing is, it's going to teach me a lot about ME and I'm all for that!

Wake up, let it go & love!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Ladies...What Are We Doing?!

Ladies, do we live in such an illusion that we feel any man we meet we have the power to "change him"?  Seriously?!  I look at so many issues of baby daddy/ baby mama drama that has led me to this conclusion: Women look at a man that appeals to them and feel in their heart of hearts that either they can "change him" by any means necessary...even if that involves bringing a child into this world.  If I hadn't witnessed women completely lose their minds (join the chaos) because their expectations did not meet their reality, with my own two eyes, I'd think it was a comedy, written, produced & directed by Tyler Perry, hitting the movie screen this fall.  I have seen this with two women recently, ages 19 & 23. I have seen these women dream up a "Prince Charming" fairy tale (I think that's been engrained generation after generation), woman meets man, they fall in "love", they get pregnant (nothing is ever an accident) and live happily ever after.  Well, no one wrote about the emotions along the way.  No one wrote about the lies and deceit a woman (or a man) will create to get things to "go their way" only to see things go as they should.  And for the next 18 years, a child has to hear "Yo Daddy this, Yo Daddy that" because instead of just flowing with what life brings, you want to continue attempting to control a situation.  Why are we bringing such negativity to the innocent ears of a child?  How did you feel if and when such words were uttered to you about your parent (if allowed by your mother)?  If we didn't like it as children, why do we continue to do allow the cycle to happen yet again as adults?  What happened to the phrases as children "When I grow up I'm not gonna do my child like this"....When I grow up I'm gonna do this"?

There was a reason that I mention the ages of these two women.  First thought is, "Oh, they are young, they are learning."  Well, what about the mothers of these young women?  What about the women well in their 50s acting the exact same way?  I've experienced this within my family as well...with my mother & aunt.  Two women, mother cannot respect her sister nor her sister's marriage enough because she wants to control a situation that does not involve her yet she feels it does.  After 30 years, you would think something like this would be rectified...not so much.

All of this has me thinking, what does it take for a woman, at any age, to realize that they cannot control anyone but themselves.  If YOU decide to take an action to get a reaction from someone else and it is a reaction YOU desire...what do you think is going to happen?  Anyone who feels they are being controlled are going to react.  STOP IT!  It amazes me how women will be upset about their situation (whatever it may be), blame it on someone else for THEIR life not going the way THEY planned yet every step of the way made a conscious decision.  How do YOUR decisions become other people's issues? just created your own frustration!

Honestly, I shouldn't single out the ladies but it seems to me, the beings that have children on this planet, use this tactic on a regular and frankly, I get saddened by what I see.  The desire to be separate because things don't go your way.  A child missing out on being loved by the family, because their mother is upset their child's father doesn't want to be in a relationship with them but wants to be there to assist raising his child.  Because that woman is not receiving that love directly, it's a problem or issue.  Why are you jealous of the affection your own child receives from their father?  Why do we continue this hamster wheel of nonsense and not do something different?!  Aren't you tired of fighting for no damn reason?!  What are we doing and how are we going to change it?!

I was a single parent for 8 years...I had my points of name calling (dealing with my emotions) my daughter's father but one thing I never would do is talk bad about her daddy in front of her.  I knew how angry it made me as a little girl for my mother to do that to me about my father.  The difference between my childhood and my daughter's is that my father was in the house part of the time my mother would "trash talk".  I learn from my history so that I don't repeat history.  With growth I've learned to deal with my emotions with my daughter's father and not put them on anyone else...learning so much that my eyes have been opened to actually see that level of love between us that never left.  The fairy tale would be to believe that love I refer to means we are going to get back together and be one big happy family...and I genuinely thought that at one was the illusion I believed or expectation I had.  But the reality I now see is that, there was love there when my daughter WAS conceived, and that IS the love that remains between us.  No one can break that.  Some will attempt to disrespect that, but I've also learned when it's disrespected, that means it's just simply not understood.  On that note, all I can say is, "We got a lot of work to do!" and I've been ready to continue teaching and learning.

WAKE UP, let it go & Love!!!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Change Your History!

Change your history...seems like an oxymoron (to me) but let me explain (no time machine  When I was growing up I was told stories by my aunt (and my mom) regarding how they grew up.  How my grandmother would control them by controlling their situation.  She also used religion to reinforce this sense of control.  My aunt was one of the six children that decided to take her power back from her mother and stop the controlling.  Fast forward to my life, those stories I was told remained in the back of my mind and paid attention. My conclusion was I didn't want that to happen to me.  I didn't want ANYONE controlling me, telling me what I can and cannot do.  Someone telling me that if I don't do what they feel is right, God would be displeased.  And I refused to carry this into raising my child(ren).  I knew what it felt being treated that way.

Knowing that some habits are engrained by our parents/relatives as well as knowing some of these habits I personally do not care for, when I would see them arise, I choose to do something different.  Instead of seeing "history repeat itself", I choose to change my history!  I know my marriage is different because I learned what NOT to do from my family/relatives...friends too.  If you don't like what you see going on around you, do something different to get a different result.  You may be amazed what changes will occur.

This same idea applies in any aspect of our life.  If you are tired of continuously being treated negatively at every job you have had, do something different...CHANGE YOUR HISTORY!  If you have seen the vicious cycle of babymama/babydaddy drama...the cycle that started with your mother/father or grandmother/grandfather...if you have seen the same result generation after generation, CHANGE YOUR HISTORY!  Only you have the power (free will) to change you!  The debt crisis is one of the current events that has my attention because I see how "worried" a lot of folks are about the government shutting down if there is no agreement.  History has always been to raise the debt ceiling and if that doesn't happen in this present moment, people are fearful of the government shuts down.  Pay attention to your history to know that history should change.  Just because life has been lived a certain way prior to now doesn't mean you have to continue to live it in your present.  CHANGE YOUR HISTORY.  I look forward to something different happening, in any aspect of my life.  That could be on a personal level or as a part of the human race.  If you know what the end result is going to be, what's the fun in that?!  Instead of closing your eyes expecting the twists, turns and dips of the rollercoaster to be scary & holding on tight, OPEN YOUR EYES, throw your hands up and embrace that rush you feel riding the twists, turns & dips of this rollercoaster of life!  That's how we begin to change the world...changing our history!

Wake up, let it go & love...have a beautiful day everyONE!  I love YOU!

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Why Are YOU Here?

In a heated discussion yesterday, I was asked "...why are you here?"  It caught me off guard and in my mind I'm thinking, "Are you serious?!" The reason I know that I am here, in any moment, is because I am...simple as that!  Today, in particular, I had experiences that reminded me of my purpose in this Universe.

The energy yesterday wasn't so great to have a garage sale so I postponed it to today.  I made sure I sent my text messages and connected to the social network to get the word out.  One of my friends that I sent a text to surprised me with a visit that came right on time.  Later on the way to my sister's house, I decided to stop and get gas.  A young man came up and asked if he could pump my gas.  I kindly declined but thank him for the hospitality.  Then the conversation began...

I asked him why he was out here...what he needed money for.  He informed me of his situation.  He got a little defensive and I figured out why...I noticed he was disabled and something told me he is a young man that is fighting for his independence.  At that moment I felt I was would I feel?  He felt he had to mention his disability and my response was, "Yea, I noticed but I'm looking at you...I want to know who YOU are...not your disabilty!"  At that moment, he eyes grew big and he opened up and said, no one has ever just talked to him like that before...he always has to be the jokester, making fun of his disability.  At the end of our discussion I gave him some money...he asked me, "Are YOU sure you don't need this?" That almost made me cry.  I told him that what he can do is when someone crosses his path and they are in need, be it a hug, a kind word, not necessarily money, just "pay forward" what was given/received to/by you today.  It was like for someone, a total stranger, saw him as a man, not as a "handicap".  I gave him my number because he simply asked could he just call and talk to me sometime.  I told him I love him and his mouth dropped.  I had to reassure him that I meant those words and they were true.  I swear this man was glowing as I drove away.  I put out there in the Universe that I hope he comes across someone that may offer him a job and not see his handicap as an issue...he continues to gain his independence!

Just those few experiences continues answering the question why I'm here.  I discovered I am here to heal in whatever profession I choose.  Currently, I am a healer of hair....I am becoming a healer of reconnecting the family circle...I want to assist my husband in healing through food, eating more healthy and it tasting good (get over the stereotype healthy doesn't taste good).  Just a simple interaction with a total stranger that begins with a question "Can I pump your gas for you?"...being of service to another person and accepting that service...that begins healing in this world.  Healing amongst us human beings.  Letting someone know they are not alone and everything will be ok, asking someone "What do you need?" And indeed, the blessings & lessons continue flowing.

Wake up, let it go & love!

Friday, July 29, 2011

Relationships, Relationships, Relationships...

Most of the time when people hear the word relationship...they automatically think about intimate relationships with others.  Often, I would think the same way.  As I continue growing, I look at all of my friends, relatives, children, spouses, clients, even new relationships in development.

One relationship that has been sticking out lately is the" babymama/babydaddy" relationship.  I pretty much was on my own raising my daughter the first 8 years of her life.  My mother and grandmother helped and I am very thankful.  However, there was no "father figure" around.  As a young mother, I ended up bitter because I felt not only did her father abandon her but abandoned me as well.  It has taken me a while to realize that he did what he felt due to past experiences with the mother(s) of his other children.  It was up to me to show by my actions that I am not the past but the present, understanding what level of love there was between us and keep it moving.  We are now in a place where there is much respect and love between the two of us.  There are no expectations...if you gonna do, do, if not, keep it moving...but there will always be LOVE!  Fast forward to present I find myself on "the other side of the game".  Now, I'm seeing the experience through the eyes of a husband.  With the birth of our son, I find myself having some sort of flashback out of body experience...seeing myself in our son's mother (babymama).  A woman that is so use to disappointment and negativity that she even creates it herself because that is what she is accustomed to...even if what is in front of you is love & truth...all she needs to do is open her eyes and see.

I've even had to realize in my business relationships, it's amazing what is revealed to you when you make yourself vulnerable, willing to be of service.  I've dodged a "business bullet" to salvage a friendship, new friendships have developed with new business ventures and even a deeper relationship with current clients.

Why do we make it so hard to reveal ourselves....our true selves to each other?  Why are we so afraid to be vulnerable and put our true feelings and emotions out there?  This is something I had to ask myself and blossom into who I truly am at this moment.  I have learned that you cannot push anyone to do what you think or want them to do, in YOUR's OUR world...a unity not a separation.  I heard something once that said, "Separation kills, unity is the survival of all humanity."  It works much better if you just go with the flow...ride the wave...enjoy the rollercoaster...whichever figurative speech you choose to use.  Once you begin, you will see the truth revealing itself in every moment of your life.  Even the true attitudes of some reveal themselves to you in a way I honestly cannot explain, but is something to experience indeed.  It's like I told my husband..."I think disclosure is happening as we speak, just in a manner we never expected..."  We feel if something is to be revealed it has to be this huge production like in the  Bottom line: RELAX!  Stop allowing illusions to hide the real you.  You may be surprised who or what will show up in your life and/or who will leave your life so that your blessings can continue to flow as they should once you see the real you and not the illusion.  If you are going through a "rough patch" at this moment, see that there is some truth being revealed to you.  All you have to do is open your eyes and see.  Once you see, you'll know what to your intuition!  We are our toughest critic, it's true.  If your relationship with you isn't working well, how do you think it's going to work with others (within any parameter)?  Jerry Maguire almost had it, yet was a loving gesture (he got the cliche'), "YOU complete ME"...recognizing how complete you are as a human being, the way you are (perfectly imperfect) will realize that it's more "WE compliment each other", "WE are a team", "WE are family!" And to me, that's true unity!

Wake up, let it go & LOVE!  Have a beautiful day everyONE!  I love YOU!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

What Am I Gonna Do With All This Stuff?

During my adult life in my religious upbringing, I remember always being told "simplify your life".  At first, I asked myself, "What does that mean?" I thought that I lived fairly simple.  Over the years, I have learned to let go of things I really don't need.  That may be a way of thinking, certain relationships, a credit card, a car note or even a job.

One thing that I continue to learn is letting go of stuff.  Everything has some sort of sentimental value to us when it crosses our path.  But why don't we take a mental picture of it and let it go, freeing up our physical space?  There have been a couple of times that I have taken pictures of where I've been or who I've seen and "mysteriously" my photos delete.  I feel it is the Universe telling me that I don't have to physically keep a memory of what I've done...I've taken a mental picture of memories, what I experience means something to me!   It also lets me know that I will return to see what I've taken pictures of and who I've seen. Just that experience flows into the rest of my life as far as letting go.

Recently, I began a group on Facebook called, "Play Clothes"...a clothing and shoes exchange for kids and adults.  I had a closet full of clothes that do not fit anymore.  I have a friend that posts that she needs clothes for her kids.  I can imagine that there is someone out there that knows someone who needs a suit to wear on an interview they have been waiting for.  Who has money for all that?  Why not help each other and at the same time, letting go and simplifying YOUR life?  In addition to this clothing exchange, I look around my house and see things that I'm willing to let go of and let it be shared with a new family.  Let it have value to them as it has had value to me but it purpose is no longer needed.  I decided to have a garage sale this weekend.  My rule (thanks to my sis) is, "If it hasn't been used in the last year, it's time for it to go."  This even goes for furniture, electronics, clothes and kitchenware that has not been used.  Someone needs this stuff and can afford garage sale prices not department store prices.  I also see these items serving their last purpose for me...providing funds towards my product business.  As one chapter ends, a new one begins!

Wake up, let it go & love!  Have a beautiful day creating everyONE!  I love YOU!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Do you see YOU?

I have a photo album on my facebook page entitled "The transition of LeLe". I look at it every now and then...maybe adding pictures along the way.  I look at what I was (creamy crack addict aka relaxers because God forbid a 'nap' show up on my head) to what I am now (au naturale, power to the people afro).  I remember thinking how much I wanted my hair to flow in the wind like my little friends of other races.  That was a trend that started with my grandmother and trickled down to me, then I stopped that cycle.  Who told us, Black Women, that the hair we were born with was "bad", "ugly", "nappy"...and have trickled that nonsense down to our own children!  Shouldn't that be a condition ("I love you but damn you got nappy ass hair!") that doesn't exist if we love ourselves and our children unconditionally?  I looked in the mirror and said, "I wonder what I look like?!" That began my transition into becoming natural...the first time.  Yes, this hasn't been a consistent journey.  Once I moved to Houston, my "hair" (really it was me) had a hard time adjusting to the humidity...relaxer to the rescue yet again!  After about a year and a half, I was missing me and decided to "let go" of the "creamy crack".  Fast forward to this year...I have helped at least 4 women transition, do the "big chop", whatever you want to call it.  I see the moment, when their eyes open wide and they SEE!  They see the most beautiful thing in the world, for the first time.  They feel free from the addiction to the game "Who's hair is straighter?!" They let go of the "added glamour" aka weaves, wigs (yes, even the lace fronts, praise sweet baby Jesus). Women, just want to be themselves, their TRUE selves.  A friend of mine called me today to let me know she was ready to let go...reveal her true self! Her call motivated me to go back to making my own hair care products...shampoos, conditioners, hair gel...even candles and sugar scrubs for the skin!  If I am going to encourage human beings to be them, why not assist maintaining the natural state with natural products. I decided a short while ago that I was going to be the last boss I have!  Seeing my true self really has me creating big things not only for myself but for my family as well!

Doing hair is just ONE of the things I do to be of service to others.  I enjoy hearing someone say, "I feel more beautiful than I ever did" the moment they see the hair they were born with...and it's not just the hair.  It's almost as if they see something inside themselves that was lost and was just reunited with them.  I remember that feeling when I looked in the mirror for the first time after the big chop...a huge sigh from my scalp and hair that I was free.  Since then, it has transferred into helping others; showing me yet another way to continue creating my reality.

I've awakened, I'm letting it go & continuing to love!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Who Is The "Hippie Diva"?!

When you first read, "Hippie Diva", those two "labels" don't seem to go together.  For me, "DIVA" stands for divine, innovative, virtuous, affluent.  When you think of a hippie, you think the 1960s.  I recently read that the 60s were a "leap into human consciousness".  Keeping that in mind, the two words seem to dance beautifully together to begin to!

A little about me...I am a woman, a mother, a sister, a wife & and friend.  I've been wanting to start various blogs about life, period.  There are so many aspects to write about I felt I was going to have 5 blogs at once. Coming back to my senses, I realize that I can write about all those things, in one blog.  I'm sure all of us at some time have multiple idea running through their head at once and have no idea where to begin...just do!  That's what I've decided, just do...start your blog, write about your ideas, you never know when it may motivate another, or even yourself!  My family life is not the most conventional, but it is family and family is what you make it to be (Blog #1).  I have been a hairstylist for almost 15 years (Blog #2).  I am currently seeking my certification of becoming a doula (labor coach...and blog #3).  I am a mother of 2...a soon to be 12 year old (we began homeschooling in May) and a one month old (whom I didn't give birth to...hello, blog #4).  And last but not least, WTF is going on in the world? How does it affect us individually? Collectively? (Blog #5) You see, the list goes on and on of what can be discussed and shared.

I am always looking at how can I be of service in the world today.  Blogging gives me another avenue to do such.  There is always knowledge to be shared amongst us all.  There is LOVE to be shared as well...let's start sharing!

Why have bread when you can have a schadenfreude