Thursday, April 26, 2012

A Birth Story...Well, Not Quite Yet...

So, I've been in New Jersey for the past couple of weeks awaiting the arrival of my "nephew" whose "guess date" is April 23rd.  Yesterday was the day the contractions came...hooray!!!  We have been waiting to see this young man enter into the world, and YES, another taurus! :-)

Sis worked through contractions from late afternoon to late evening.  By 10:00 p.m., she felt it was time to go to the hospital.  Now, the contractions weren't that consistent, but I'm not the one laboring and what the mother feels SHE wants to do, we will respect...away we go!  We arrived at the hospital to L&D, and this is when the "fun" began!

First there was monitoring...a resident with his med student that wasn't sure if he was seeing meconium or not (asking the nurse just to be sure...smh)...but has been doing this at least a year so he says...sis having discomfort from him checking the cervix, as if he was using his fist versus his fingers...all of that to be told, "You're only 3 centimeters" more than once.  That's when the talk of interventions began.  It was like pitocin became a stalker!  LOL  My sis' experience with having her first child was not a great one...pitocin, was decided that will not happen again.  I swear this doctor came in at least 3-4 times with various fear tactics of what would happen if she DIDN'T get pitocin...discussing possible risks if she didn't get the medicine, not the risks WITH the medicine.  But I guess that's what you have a doula keep you informed FULLY! :-)

This was the point when intuition and paying attention to how the universe works came in.  The nurse that was on duty, was amazing...she was like the body guard.  I love how she reassured my sis that she didn't have to do what she didn't want to do...which we knew.  She also told us how the doctor wanted to just force her to get pitocin...we laughed.  I remember that last time he came into that room, trying once again to get sis to get that pitocin going and an epidural if you can't take the pain, waking up and asking him, "Have you ever experienced a birth WITHOUT any intervention?"  He did say yes, and added what the difference was between what he has witnessed in the past and what is occurring now.  OH, and mind you, this lil boy's heart rate was strong, never dropped, no fever present...basically no indication that any intervention was needed.  This man, who was very nice, but not use to a patient standing their ground, was informed by us that him causing stress to the mom by attempting to instill fear and get his way may be doing nothing but hindering her progression of labor...and really, we are all learning something.  In this case, a lesson for us to not allow fear to win and for them to witness something textbooks may never show them..a NATURAL childbirth.

I saw my sister laying in the bed, about to cry, fighting wanting to give in...but I remember something she told me when she first found out she was pregnant, "I just want to have my baby in peace."  Once we were reminded of that request, it's like the universe went to work.  The sleep we were able to get was like a meditation on the matter at hand.  Instead of giving into the fear, sis decided she was going home, and was firm in that decision.  And after at least 4 people coming in trying to convince her that she needed to stay at the hospital (but they can't make her stay of course), the AMA papers came and were signed.  They even sent in the black doctor, I guess they thought maybe someone the same race would change her mind would work...LOL  The universe working again and the wording this young woman used was absolutely beautiful.  She admitted that my sis wishes was out of their realm of understanding...they are programmed a certain way.  She said she didn't agree with it but understood it...and THAT was so respected...someone speaking their TRUTH!

This is just a brief summary of the things witnessed from last night until this morning...but one thing I can say is I am so proud of my sister for standing her ground...knowing what she wanted and did not want.  As for me, and my doula studies, understanding more and more what being an advocate for the wishes of a woman birthing her child(ren) really means!  Lessons indeed!

Now, to continue to labor AT HOME, in peace!  We'll be back at the hospital when it's time and always on HER terms!  This taurus baby is coming, and SOON!  Wake up, let it go, love and let it be!  Have a beautiful day everyONE...I love YOU! :-)

Monday, April 23, 2012

How Far Does Your Social Networking Go?

I LOVE the social network.  I have had wonderful experiences, as well as valuable lessons.  I think about who all I have met in various cities/states that I probably would have never met without the use of social networking, let alone the internet.

I am currently visiting a "sister" of mine in New Jersey, whom I met via Facebook through someone I knew via my "brother" (6 degrees of separation, right?! lol).  She is going to be birthing her second son into the world any day now and we are estatic! We were chatting yesterday and she said something to me that was so humbling.  I remember the day she announced to me via Facebook that she was pregnant.  She said to me yesterday how if it wasn't for me and the conversations we had, she doesn't know what she would've done.  Now let me explain something...she and I had never met face to face, never spoke on the phone...only knew of each other via Facebook when she announced she was pregnant.  Other than my visit here this month, we have only been in each other's presence in December...of 2011!!!  You would swear we knew each other forever...but have only known each other not even a year and have shared so much.  Sometimes, I am at a loss for words for all that I have experienced...and it all started via the social network.  Humbled, indeed!

Now, not all of my experiences have been super duper grand on here.  My goal is to make my social networking LIMITLESS.  That means, my interaction with whom I choose to be friends with on FB does not stop at the computer or whatever device I am using.  If I can have a conversation with you via the internet, wanting to see the world change for the better and being that change, we have to network in our physical world as well as our virtual world, don't you think?!  I have had people inform me that they choose to keep their virtual world separate from their physical world yet expect change?!  To me, I feel that limits all parties involved.  How do we fully expand our experiences and learn from each other with a few posts, pictures, comments and refuse to apply that in our present moments?

We are human beings that thrive on interaction with each other...that is apparent in this virtual world.  How often do we experience that physically with whom we call our family...our friends?  Why wouldn't we extend that to our friends via the internet?  Someone who is expressing hurt or gratitude in a post, that may just need a hug physically and doesn't have access to such...what if we happen to be in their city to give them that?

If you are good enough to be my friend through this keyboard I type on, you are good enough to be in my presence physically.  Some may have a fear based on experiences we read or hear about...people not being who they say they are on the internet.  We are coming into a world where facades and veils are becoming more and more transparent and if we pay attention to what we are shown, we realize the fraudulence that may be presented to us by some.  I've taken someone rejecting meeting me in person as showing me that what they say online is not an honest representation of's a veil...a facade...just for show.  Look, if we want to see the change we must BE the change we wish to see in this world.  And to fully be able to do that, we have to interact with each other.  WE are ALL connected in this each other, to this planet...pure energy!  Social networking to some is a blessing as well as a depends on how you perceive and/or treat it.  I have connected and reconnected with many people here.  New relationships have been established, old relationships rekindled...and some of the new and old have connected through me...and I love it!!!  It reminds me that this planet is my home...not one city or area of the world...but wherever I land my feet.  My feet are in Jersey...getting ready to greet my "nephew" and embrace my "sister" and "nephew" that are already here...that I never knew before Facebook...and through whom I knew before Facebook...if that doesn't remind you how connected all of us are, I don't know what else to say!

It's time for us to wake up, let go of the fear and connect to one our communities...know our neighbors...have a block party...plan a group trip to a destination...LOVE each other...embrace our differences, learn and grow WITH one another...not just in our own little bubble!  How far will you allow your social networking to grow?

I'm looking forward to seeing YOU when I happen to be in YOUR city! Who's in Jersey???...Next stop D.C area..where ya at???  Who knows where I'll be next...:-)  Wake up, let it go, LOVE and let it be...have a beautiful day everyONE!  I love YOU!