So, I've been in New Jersey for the past couple of weeks awaiting the arrival of my "nephew" whose "guess date" is April 23rd. Yesterday was the day the contractions came...hooray!!! We have been waiting to see this young man enter into the world, and YES, another taurus! :-)
Sis worked through contractions from late afternoon to late evening. By 10:00 p.m., she felt it was time to go to the hospital. Now, the contractions weren't that consistent, but I'm not the one laboring and what the mother feels SHE wants to do, we will respect...away we go! We arrived at the hospital to L&D, and this is when the "fun" began!
First there was monitoring...a resident with his med student that wasn't sure if he was seeing meconium or not (asking the nurse just to be sure...smh)...but has been doing this at least a year so he says...sis having discomfort from him checking the cervix, as if he was using his fist versus his fingers...all of that to be told, "You're only 3 centimeters" more than once. That's when the talk of interventions began. It was like pitocin became a stalker! LOL My sis' experience with having her first child was not a great one...pitocin, epidural...it was decided that will not happen again. I swear this doctor came in at least 3-4 times with various fear tactics of what would happen if she DIDN'T get pitocin...discussing possible risks if she didn't get the medicine, not the risks WITH the medicine. But I guess that's what you have a doula for...to keep you informed FULLY! :-)
This was the point when intuition and paying attention to how the universe works came in. The nurse that was on duty, was amazing...she was like the body guard. I love how she reassured my sis that she didn't have to do what she didn't want to do...which we knew. She also told us how the doctor wanted to just force her to get pitocin...we laughed. I remember that last time he came into that room, trying once again to get sis to get that pitocin going and an epidural if you can't take the pain, waking up and asking him, "Have you ever experienced a birth WITHOUT any intervention?" He did say yes, and added what the difference was between what he has witnessed in the past and what is occurring now. OH, and mind you, this lil boy's heart rate was strong, never dropped, no fever present...basically no indication that any intervention was needed. This man, who was very nice, but not use to a patient standing their ground, was informed by us that him causing stress to the mom by attempting to instill fear and get his way may be doing nothing but hindering her progression of labor...and really, we are all learning something. In this case, a lesson for us to not allow fear to win and for them to witness something textbooks may never show them..a NATURAL childbirth.
I saw my sister laying in the bed, about to cry, fighting wanting to give in...but I remember something she told me when she first found out she was pregnant, "I just want to have my baby in peace." Once we were reminded of that request, it's like the universe went to work. The sleep we were able to get was like a meditation on the matter at hand. Instead of giving into the fear, sis decided she was going home, and was firm in that decision. And after at least 4 people coming in trying to convince her that she needed to stay at the hospital (but they can't make her stay of course), the AMA papers came and were signed. They even sent in the black doctor, I guess they thought maybe someone the same race would change her mind would work...LOL The universe working again and the wording this young woman used was absolutely beautiful. She admitted that my sis wishes was out of their realm of understanding...they are programmed a certain way. She said she didn't agree with it but understood it...and THAT was so respected...someone speaking their TRUTH!
This is just a brief summary of the things witnessed from last night until this morning...but one thing I can say is I am so proud of my sister for standing her ground...knowing what she wanted and did not want. As for me, and my doula studies, understanding more and more what being an advocate for the wishes of a woman birthing her child(ren) really means! Lessons indeed!
Now, to continue to labor AT HOME, in peace! We'll be back at the hospital when it's time and always on HER terms! This taurus baby is coming, and SOON! Wake up, let it go, love and let it be! Have a beautiful day everyONE...I love YOU! :-)