Thursday, September 15, 2011

Did We Get Disconnected?!

"...People still don't like each other...even our kids don't bring us together..." That is a verse from a song by Kindred The Family Soul entitled "We All Will Know".  I look around in the world and this verse constantly comes up...hence the music video of life is playing (lol).  How did we get disconnected, not only from each other but from OURSELVES?!

Every aspect of my life there is this disconnection that I know I am not the only one that sees it so vividly.  As a hairstylist, sistahs don't like what they see in the mirror to the point they disguise them from themselves with lace fronts & quick weaves, forgetting what they actually look like or who they are.  Our mothers and their mothers have talked so negatively about the hair they were born with instead of embracing what they have and being creative; not trying to look like someone on TV.  As a teacher, I see the disconnect in my child with her imagination and learning.  Teaching in public school involves learning how to take a test that limits ANY imagination...even the teachers lose their desire to expand their imagination to's all about that testing...gotta love politics!  As a doula, some women have a disconnect with themselves, not trusting their own intuition and trusting a medical professional, a surgeon at that, to tell them how THEY should be giving birth.  And continuing to trust the profession to diagnose their children conditions never heard of until recently.  Why are we not trusting ourselves???  Am I the only one seeing this disconnection?

I have grown so weary of human beings not getting along!  We are killing ourselves while blaming others for attempting to kill us and don't even realize it sometimes.  I noticed that it begins as soon as we are conceived in the womb, not as soon as we are born into this world.  Women getting pregnant and men getting women pregnant as a form of manipulation...that sometimes works and in most cases backfires...then that creates a disconnection....babymama/babydaddy drama!  People not loving themselves with enough respect so they are disrespectful to anyone who crosses their path because they look out for #1!  There is nothing wrong with loving you...but understand loving you is what helps you to love others, not be selfish with your love.  I understand we have been hurt at various levels of our lives, but have you ever asked yourself WHY you feel so hurt and WHY you feel you need others to feel hurt too?  This is something that we, as adults, need to get to the root of the problem, or our children are going to (and some are) repeat(ing) the cycle we constantly complain about and THINK there is no hope of breaking.

I am thankful that my eyes are open to such a disconnection.  It answers the question, "why am I here?", for me.  At times, I feel like a therapist or a life coach, but that's not what I want to do.  I want to begin the healing from the womb and let it grow from there.  I want my brothers and sisters to know that life is precious...not a medical procedure you go have surgery and leave with a baby.  It's so much more than that.  If anything, it is a spiritual process that helps us, as spiritual beings having a human experience.  It helps us to see just how amazing and powerful we are.  The drugs that are developed to "prevent" pain, are already within us, in it's natural state, not a synthetic one.  It shows us that even though we have our own emotions that WE have to deal with ourselves, we are able to put aside to bring a new life into the world.  I feel that is where we will begin to RECONNECT...

Another song by Kindred chorus that goes a little something like this:

And I never take for granted love
Cuz I know the words you're speaking of
When you sing about the ones you love
Know that we are ONE
We are creation
Every single ONE of us
LOVE has no recession

Maybe if we think about these words, we will begin to like each other and our kids bring us together!  That doesn't mean fall in love with the person or people you have children with...understand there is a level of LOVE there, or you wouldn't have children in the first place.  Just because it isn't a love you expected (we always expect more...gotta love that doesn't mean we cannot get along, at least for our children.  What do you want them to learn from YOU?

Like my daughter says, "I just want everyone to get along so we can play!"  I'd rather play on the playground we call Earth than fight with whomever; destroying not only ourselves, but our home!

Wake up, let it go & love!  Have a beautiful day everyONE!  I love YOU!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Family Dynamics...

I often think about the scripture regarding a man leaving his father and mother and clinging to his wife. I also thought this was weird because I thought, "How can you leave your family behind that raised you once you are married?" I also thought it only applied to men, not women. HA! The experiences I have had not only in my adult life, but married life as well thus far, the message is loud and clear. I have more clarity in what this truly means.

I have struggled with a back and forth, with my mother, many do not know about. Many longtime friends of mine have a picture of my mother and I being thick as thieves, when you saw one, you saw the other. I also noticed that my mother was perfectly happy with our family dynamic, but what about my life? What about what I want to do...maybe have a husband and more kids? Once I decided to break the vicious cycle that my grandmother created and my mother wanted to continue, things changed. I felt like I was being punished for finally saying NO to my parents. That wasn't the was the beginning stages of my leaving my father and mother and beginning my own family.

Fastforward to mother attempts to continue that cycle without me, her only daughter. She found a "replacement" for me in her best friend (she hasn't gotten the memo that I cannot be of a kind here!) & even attempts to pull my daughter into that unhealthy nonsense. I feel I have broken a cycle whose end is long overdue, and in the process I have noticed that the more love and freedom I display towards the family I have known since birth they have dismissed themselves one by one.  I had to realize, it wasn't me that changed my love, it was them changing their love towards me.  While I choose not to place conditions and judgments on my love, judgments and conditions seem to be placed on me by them.  The initial reaction is shock & anger, but not so much anymore.  Dramas not entertained, soon fades away.  I have done and said all I can, openly and honestly to the ones I love...and I am aware that my decisions they may not always agree with and that is ok.  My parents taught me how to love, whether they were good experiences or bad ones, I took the lesson...and I am yet learning another valuable one.

Not only are family members running their course, but some long time friends who I consider my family are dismissing themselves as well.  I am beginning to notice a tell people the TRUTH, and they begin to not like you so much when it's really themselves they aren't liking in that moment.  It could be only my truth but I choose not to live behind a facade and if I see it in front of me, I am going to fight through the illusion.  One of my "sisters" said something to me the other day about my husband and I, "One thing I know about y'all is whatever/whoever leaves it sure does make its way back to ya!"  How true indeed.  I have seen people (even animals...LOL) come and go out of my life based on arrogance, never to be seen again. But there are some, whom I may have the craziest connection with...will leave and come back and it be like no time was lost between us. 

Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do...I'm learning that if you KNOW there is a place of love for them in your heart, you never really say "goodbye" because love is always going to be there!  I pray that one day, all the ones that physically leave my life truly understand how it is I never left or even said goodbye!

Wake up, let it go & LOVE!  Make it beautiful everyONE!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

The Babies Are Coming...

It seems just about everyday I hear a new life is on its way! I am so overjoyed to hear because one, who doesn't love welcoming a new life into the world, especially the New Age we are entering; the other reason is it expands my ability to be of service to others.  Therefore, I advertise my services...tell a friend!

Celestial Beginnings Doula Services
"Connecting the euphoric touch within the family circle"

Leah Register
(713) 689-0382