As some know, my family dynamics are a bit...dynamic! :-) I spent most of 2012 getting prepared for our son to come into the world...and that he did!
Just a brief overview...last year it was decided to join our family in one city...that is, my husband, my wife, our daughter (whom I birthed) and our son (who we welcomed in October)! Our brother and his son joined us as well. We all made the move to Baltimore and quite an adventure it has been.
That brings us to the birth day of Bayyinah Luther Omari Kwame!
It was quite an interesting combination being a doula and a spouse...at the same time. The things I remember during early labor was cutting wifey's hair while she was squatting on the floor working through surges (contractions)...walking around the house during contractions...basically chillin' out. Then it was time to go! Off we went to the birthing center. It seemed so surreal that the day was here...this little boy was coming! Yet, I was in doula mode, calm, focused on mom. She labored in the tub for a little bit, then moved to the bed. After a few hours, something happened. She just stopped progressing...and the midwife advised that we needed to make moves to the hospital to help out with things.
Now, I try to go the route that is as natural as possible, and that was the game plan. At the same time, we also know that sometimes help is needed from the medical field. I think what threw us off a little bit was the plan of going to the birthing center, have the baby, stay 4 hours postpartum, go home...now the plan became go to the hospital, have the baby, stay 24-48 hrs, go home. It didn't take long to adjust, all we want is a healthy baby!
Hours later it was determined that mom had been at the same dilation for a while and suggested a c-section (which automatically means 72 hr stay...grrr). Talk about a sistah's heart sinking to her gut! My spouse is laying in the bed...yet I have to maintain being her doula...PLUS, keeping our husband informed of what is going on (by now he has taken the children...our daughter and nephew...home...it had been a long day for them). Of course, we shed tears, shared fears and maybe said a couple prayers to ourselves...knowing everything is gonna be good...we're about to see our son!
Before we began the journey to the OR, we were cracking jokes...even once we got to the OR wifey had the staff cracking up. I had never been in the room where a c-section is taking place. That was quite interesting. I just can't seem to gather the words to describe that experience. I didn't feel like passing out...I was too busy taking it all in; observing each person in the room from the OB to the Surgical Tech. It all just seemed so routine to each one of them. I guess to a point it is. I think one thing my wife and I made sure of was reminding each one of them that we are human, not just a patient, a number...but human beings, with emotions, and recognize their emotions as well. I digress...
So, I'm sitting next to my wife, who by this time is completely knocked out because she wouldn't be still. I kept telling her that she had to be still or they were going to knock her out. She was so in her inner realm (plus doped up) she was not hearing a word I was saying so...LIGHTS OUT! Then, I saw Bayyinah emerge! I felt such a huge surge of oxytocin begin to flow through my body...literally! I know, for a fact, it was the same surge I felt having my own daughter! I am so in love...my son...our son...is here!
I share this story to share this:
I know that not everyone understands how we choose to live and that's ok. One thing I remember sharing with myself and who I choose to be married to is this: I don't care how the babies come, as long as they come! That means, I am not the only one in this relationship having babies, yet the ones that do bless us with their presence, they are our babies...I am Mama Le. One thing is for sure...the love I feel for ALL my babies is real and genuine!
I cannot wait to have more experiences welcoming little star babies to this family, as well as other families...to me it's all ONE village anyway!
Stay tuned... :-)