I'm not angry...maybe slightly frustrated and confused. lol
I went to sleep last night and woke up this morning trying to process what I have seen over the past couple of days. I am currently involved in an outreach program for pregnant women. I figured it would be a good outlet to offer my doula training...which it is! The young lady I was connected with is such a beautiful being. She is only 18 and having her first baby. Fast forward to current events, as her baby will be here any day now, her mother decided to not provide shelter at the moment. Of course we know parents and children have a fall out every now and again, however, sometimes our ego needs to be put to the side when there is a bigger picture involved. Nonetheless, we had a false alarm and her mom did show up at the hospital, only to leave not saying even hello to her daughter and unborn grandson, but knowing her daughter had basically nowhere to stay. As a daughter and a mother of a daughter, I'm dumbfounded! I also saw a hospital staff that had more fear in their eyes, they couldn't focus on the matter at hand...a baby possibly coming...they were so scared she was gonna have the baby and THEY weren't prepared (yes, this was Labor and Delivery)..smh...bless us all.
Today, I find myself asking for assistance for this young lady via programs available for those in need within the city...yet they "can't" (choose not to) help because of their protocol...what tha hell?! I understand that, however, there is such a disconnection between human beings that we don't even HELP each other, just because we are all human beings. We are so wrapped up in ourselves that it seems absurd to help another just because not to gain something from it. It seriously makes me think I'm on the wrong planet...lol
I was in tears this morning asking myself, "Why do I care if others don't?"..."Why do I love like I do, if others just don't give a damn?" Asking my wife the same thing, she says to me, "Because you know someone has to..." That is true, someone has to, but why does it have to be someone, not EVERYONE?!
I may be frustrated and have my moments of saying "f*ck tha world", but I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. I see more and more WHY I decided to be a doula and moving forward to pursue being a montrice or midwife...Homebirth Assistant...whatever label you want to call it! I know I am here to welcome these babies into the world of psychopaths and selfish beings...knowing that someone has to help this world change...I can only do that by being that change! We have become so disconnected from each other that I feel sometimes people have no idea who the person is they see in the mirror...now that's problematic! It is also evident that I am where I'm suppose to be and doing what I'm doing by all the babies crossing my path...even those not here as of yet. My lil sis here is due any day, my sis upstate is due next month, our wife is bringing another little one into our family in October and what totally brightened my day today was one of my good friends and her hubby (my sis and bro) are expecting in September. I also look forward to having another one myself, whenever that may be! :-)
I plan to be there for every birth...the world is my home, not just New Orleans...I'm here to be of service...and I'm there because I want to be! Time to get to work :-) It does take a village to raise a child, but how do you expect that to happen when the village can't come together...even for the children?! Wake up, let it go, love and let it be!
Have a beautiful day everyONE! I love YOU! :-)