Well, it's been a while since my last blog entry. So much has been going on that sometimes words cannot describe.
My family and I recently took a trip to New Orleans. This was a first visit for my daughter and I, my husband's second or third I think...lol Anyhow, it was a pretty awesome visit. So awesome that an opportunity presented itself for us to start up our own business...with mentors!
Fast forward, we are now in the process of packing up and moving out (so long Houston...it's been fun)! This isn't some spur of the moment thing, we've been ready to move, just didn't know exactly where yet. This is what happens when you just go with the flow and pay attention when the universe is speaking, I think. We are so excited because the possibilities are endless! I truly see dreams being created and them manifesting right before my eyes.
I don't want to reveal the business as of yet...stay tuned...lol...it's still in the development phase. What really excites me is the fact that my doula/midwife studies will manifest into a good business as well in NOLA. A place where you can truly start up your own business with ease...an opportunity to contribute towards the rebuilding of a community, I LOVE IT! As my daughter says, "Spread the love!" This was my first visit, but I felt as if I had been there many times before, and might have been in a previous life...lol
Something my aunt told me recently, "Go where you are appreciated or celebrated, not where you are tolerated." The love we felt while there, pretty much summed it up for us! So, for now, it's off to a new adventure...and definitely more dreams being created and manifesting! Wake up, let it go & LOVE! Have a beautiful day everyONE! I love YOU!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Love & Embrace Your Fear(s)...Then Let It Go!
A friend of mine on facebook posted, "...I am SO EXCITED and SCARED!!!..." My response to the post was embrace and talk to your fear and let it go. It reminded me of so many times I've had to face my fears...even recently.
I've taken many leaps off ledges into my fears just this year alone. Homeschooling our daughter, becoming a doula...my first client, studying to become a midwife...helping my friend deliver her baby at home. All can be a tad fearful if never experienced before, but what I have learned with past fears, is that it didn't kill me! If anything, I learned a lot about myself and whomever or whatever was involved in the situation. Here lately, my husband and I have been intensely discussing LEAVING this great state of Texas...not knowing where we want to go or end up. At first, I had a little fear because I've never left Texas, hell, leaving Dallas was a huge leap in itself! I had to really search within, why I was fearful...it was fear of the unknown...then my fear turned into excitement. I realized that in that moment, I embraced my fear then let it go.
During my midwifery studies, I find myself having a similar fear. First, was the fear of not knowing what I'm doing...when indeed I do...it's called trusting your intuition! Fear embraced & let go! While digging a little deeper and watching more and more videos and reading blogs of women just empowered by the simple fact they listened to their bodies and not outside folks...it had me thinking about expanding our own family. While it has already begun to expand and the outcome hasn't been as "planned", that began the fear. Then thinking about other's feelings in the event we did become pregnant (their jealousy, their self pity, their ANGER, etc.) created even more fear because I don't want people to feel what I certainly don't want to feel. Then the doosey...fear of having children and not being able to juggle my "job" outside of the home as well as my "job" inside the home. Now, I'm looking at myself like WTF?! Why are YOU continually getting in YOUR way?
I must say, those fears weren't going away until I dealt with them, embrace them and let them go! First, I am aware that having no expectations lead to clearly seeing the lesson being taught to you. Second, how people feel is just how people are going to feel. If that's their emotion, THEY need to deal with their OWN emotion. No need to let how someone else feels to steal the peace, love & joy YOU have...taking you out of your character! If they have jealousy, self pity, anger, etc., then there is a FEAR they themselves have not been able to embrace and let go of...YET! Lead by example! Last, but certainly not least, I realize, "I GOT THIS!" I have a juggling act now...why have a fear of adding a few extra "balls" to the routine?! :-)
Once I was able to recognize the fear, acknowledge it, talk to it, and give it some love....I was able to let it go! My ego may let it creep in...but it certainly isn't for long...if it creeps in at all! I'm ok with whatever emotion I may feel at whatever moment, especially fear. I automatically know that there is something I gotta deal with before I move forward learning a new lesson! And we have a lot of learning to do!
Wake up, let it go (your fears) & Love!
Have a beautiful day everyONE! I love YOU!
I've taken many leaps off ledges into my fears just this year alone. Homeschooling our daughter, becoming a doula...my first client, studying to become a midwife...helping my friend deliver her baby at home. All can be a tad fearful if never experienced before, but what I have learned with past fears, is that it didn't kill me! If anything, I learned a lot about myself and whomever or whatever was involved in the situation. Here lately, my husband and I have been intensely discussing LEAVING this great state of Texas...not knowing where we want to go or end up. At first, I had a little fear because I've never left Texas, hell, leaving Dallas was a huge leap in itself! I had to really search within, why I was fearful...it was fear of the unknown...then my fear turned into excitement. I realized that in that moment, I embraced my fear then let it go.
During my midwifery studies, I find myself having a similar fear. First, was the fear of not knowing what I'm doing...when indeed I do...it's called trusting your intuition! Fear embraced & let go! While digging a little deeper and watching more and more videos and reading blogs of women just empowered by the simple fact they listened to their bodies and not outside folks...it had me thinking about expanding our own family. While it has already begun to expand and the outcome hasn't been as "planned", that began the fear. Then thinking about other's feelings in the event we did become pregnant (their jealousy, their self pity, their ANGER, etc.) created even more fear because I don't want people to feel what I certainly don't want to feel. Then the doosey...fear of having children and not being able to juggle my "job" outside of the home as well as my "job" inside the home. Now, I'm looking at myself like WTF?! Why are YOU continually getting in YOUR way?
I must say, those fears weren't going away until I dealt with them, embrace them and let them go! First, I am aware that having no expectations lead to clearly seeing the lesson being taught to you. Second, how people feel is just how people are going to feel. If that's their emotion, THEY need to deal with their OWN emotion. No need to let how someone else feels to steal the peace, love & joy YOU have...taking you out of your character! If they have jealousy, self pity, anger, etc., then there is a FEAR they themselves have not been able to embrace and let go of...YET! Lead by example! Last, but certainly not least, I realize, "I GOT THIS!" I have a juggling act now...why have a fear of adding a few extra "balls" to the routine?! :-)
Once I was able to recognize the fear, acknowledge it, talk to it, and give it some love....I was able to let it go! My ego may let it creep in...but it certainly isn't for long...if it creeps in at all! I'm ok with whatever emotion I may feel at whatever moment, especially fear. I automatically know that there is something I gotta deal with before I move forward learning a new lesson! And we have a lot of learning to do!
Wake up, let it go (your fears) & Love!
Have a beautiful day everyONE! I love YOU!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
I LOVE Hair!
I absolutely LOVE doing hair! I love the textures that vary among hair...my hands just running across or through someone's hair fascinates me every time! I also think that some are so obsessed with hair that they don't appreciate the hair they were born with.
When I first decided to become a cosmetologist, I only wanted to do "black hair"...then I realized how close-minded and how empty my pockets would be (turning clients away since all I was going to do is "black hair") if I didn't expand my thinking. Fourteen years later, I find myself going around the world, pretty much, just in my little station at the salon...Africa, Middle East, Asia, even this melting pot of the USA has varieties in itself...but one thing remains the same, being LOVING to your hair (and YOU).
I was reading a blog earlier, catering to black women that want to achieve longer hair. The first thing it recommended was getting a hair cut. Those two little words seem to put most women of any race in a state of shock! I myself have been a victim of scissor happy stylists myself, but guess what? It always grows back, and is HEALTHY!!! Whatever you want to refer to this maintenance as (hair cut, big chop, trim), this is something that should occur at least every 4-6 weeks. I have clients that do request chemical services (color &/or relaxer), so I advise them to get a trim (1/2 inch to 1 inch) every time they get a retouch. A retouch occurs about every 4-6 weeks.
I have no problem with over the counter shampoos and conditioners. I do think we should be more mindful what we put on our hair. Products that contain a lot of alcohol tend to dry our hair out. Too much grease or oil tend to clog our hair follicles, thus causing a build up of our natural oils in additions to what has been applied. Our goal should be finding the appropriate moisture for our hair. Some hair does require more moisture than others...notice I said MOISTURE.
Lately, I have noticed more dry scalp with ethnic hair, whether it be relaxed or natural. I think I came up with an pre-shampoo oil treatment to help with the scalp issue...stay tuned on that one. It does also have me motivated to get into making more products that are more natural with herbs and essential oils. The few products I have made tend to give more moisture and less build up than products I have bought at the beauty supply.
Shampooing your hair on a regular basis, with a good shampoo, helps as well. Shampooing everyday strips your natural oils and causes your oil glands to work that much harder to keep up with what you continue to remove...hence, "I have to wash my hair everyday or it will look greasy!" If anything, rinse your hair, apply some conditioner, good to go! At the most you should shampoo your hair every 2-3 days, once a week if you can. Doing the opposite, NOT shampooing your hair for a long period of time isn't any better...that's just gross! :-) I have definitely has someone in my chair that hasn't used shampoo as little as two weeks and as long as a year...yuck!
One last thing, to my sistahs, going back natural...Enjoy your journey! I know it can be a challenge, but there are no more limitations! If you are desiring to go natural but not comfortable with the big chop, do it in stages, no one will judge you. It's your hair, your body, your mind...you know what's best for YOU! I had to get there the same way (twice)...and definitely have NO regrets!
The point is take care of you and take care of your hair. Your hair just like the rest of your body will tell you what it needs...if you just LISTEN! If you go to a stylist to get your hair done, don't just rely on them to do all the work for you. You have to do some work at home until your next appointment for professional maintenance, however often that may be. Also, your stylist should educate you on how to achieve such things, not taking all the credit for your hair being as healthy as it is. It's a group effort!
Wake up, let it go & LOVE (what you were given & received...YOU)!
When I first decided to become a cosmetologist, I only wanted to do "black hair"...then I realized how close-minded and how empty my pockets would be (turning clients away since all I was going to do is "black hair") if I didn't expand my thinking. Fourteen years later, I find myself going around the world, pretty much, just in my little station at the salon...Africa, Middle East, Asia, even this melting pot of the USA has varieties in itself...but one thing remains the same, being LOVING to your hair (and YOU).
I was reading a blog earlier, catering to black women that want to achieve longer hair. The first thing it recommended was getting a hair cut. Those two little words seem to put most women of any race in a state of shock! I myself have been a victim of scissor happy stylists myself, but guess what? It always grows back, and is HEALTHY!!! Whatever you want to refer to this maintenance as (hair cut, big chop, trim), this is something that should occur at least every 4-6 weeks. I have clients that do request chemical services (color &/or relaxer), so I advise them to get a trim (1/2 inch to 1 inch) every time they get a retouch. A retouch occurs about every 4-6 weeks.
I have no problem with over the counter shampoos and conditioners. I do think we should be more mindful what we put on our hair. Products that contain a lot of alcohol tend to dry our hair out. Too much grease or oil tend to clog our hair follicles, thus causing a build up of our natural oils in additions to what has been applied. Our goal should be finding the appropriate moisture for our hair. Some hair does require more moisture than others...notice I said MOISTURE.
Lately, I have noticed more dry scalp with ethnic hair, whether it be relaxed or natural. I think I came up with an pre-shampoo oil treatment to help with the scalp issue...stay tuned on that one. It does also have me motivated to get into making more products that are more natural with herbs and essential oils. The few products I have made tend to give more moisture and less build up than products I have bought at the beauty supply.
Shampooing your hair on a regular basis, with a good shampoo, helps as well. Shampooing everyday strips your natural oils and causes your oil glands to work that much harder to keep up with what you continue to remove...hence, "I have to wash my hair everyday or it will look greasy!" If anything, rinse your hair, apply some conditioner, good to go! At the most you should shampoo your hair every 2-3 days, once a week if you can. Doing the opposite, NOT shampooing your hair for a long period of time isn't any better...that's just gross! :-) I have definitely has someone in my chair that hasn't used shampoo as little as two weeks and as long as a year...yuck!
One last thing, to my sistahs, going back natural...Enjoy your journey! I know it can be a challenge, but there are no more limitations! If you are desiring to go natural but not comfortable with the big chop, do it in stages, no one will judge you. It's your hair, your body, your mind...you know what's best for YOU! I had to get there the same way (twice)...and definitely have NO regrets!
The point is take care of you and take care of your hair. Your hair just like the rest of your body will tell you what it needs...if you just LISTEN! If you go to a stylist to get your hair done, don't just rely on them to do all the work for you. You have to do some work at home until your next appointment for professional maintenance, however often that may be. Also, your stylist should educate you on how to achieve such things, not taking all the credit for your hair being as healthy as it is. It's a group effort!
Wake up, let it go & LOVE (what you were given & received...YOU)!
Monday, October 3, 2011
...The Revolution Will Not Be Televised...
Gil Scott Heron said it best, "The revolution will not be televised...but it will be live!" I see what a LIVE news feed via the social network is capable of doing.
Just over the weekend, I have seen updates of Occupy Wall Street...taking over the Brooklyn Bridge! I have seen reports of Occupy Chicago, protests in Boston with Bank of America and even a close friend of mine fighting for what's right in her own community in Dallas, TX, by going on a hunger strike (Shout out to Jennifer Thibeaux...check out her story on Facebook)! These things are amazing and are reaching us by our own voices, NOT THE LYING ASS MEDIA!!! I love it!
I personally am not out there protesting (at the moment), but I feel I'm there in spirit. I feel like I'm protesting in my own way here at home, and it shows in various ways. I often think of the quote, "Be the change you want to see in the world!" The few things I am passionate about at this time is my child(ren)'s education and how we welcome these beautiful beings into the world! Obviously, we are living in a time where everyone is "...mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" I have been that way for a while and slowly but surely my journey is showing me the way on my path.
I believe that it does take a village to raise a child...I believe that knowledge is power and with the right tools of knowledge, parents will make an informed decision of how they want to birth their babies into this world...with or without my assistance as a midwife or doula...and with all the resources out there, educating our children rather then relying on the state we reside to program our children how to take a test.
Before I began this blog entry, two amazing things happened...both by black men! First, was a post that I was tagged on, from a friend of mine, sharing a story about parents choosing home birth as opposed to hospital birth. The other was a friend having respect not only for himself but me as a mother, to make sure it was OK to accept a friend request from my daughter via Facebook. IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN! I am so proud to see not only men, but black men making their voice heard...taking the time to gain knowledge as well as share it. To not be ashamed for having a relationship with a child, to assist in her growth and experience as a spiritual being having a human experience, not thinking the relationship as "improper". Last but certainly not least, my husband, who I have seen grow as a father, regardless if that child is his biologically or not...and a child that made the decision on her own to address and acknowledge him as her "Pop"! I want to see this happen with EVERY community; however, as a black woman and my first focus is my black community, I applaud it when I see it happening! So many times it gets ignored, yet we still have much work to do!
There is a revolution occurring, and it surely IS NOT always televised, it is happening in our NOW! Are you awake?! What are YOU ready to change in the world?
Wake up, let it go & LOVE! Have a beautiful day everyONE! I love YOU!
Just over the weekend, I have seen updates of Occupy Wall Street...taking over the Brooklyn Bridge! I have seen reports of Occupy Chicago, protests in Boston with Bank of America and even a close friend of mine fighting for what's right in her own community in Dallas, TX, by going on a hunger strike (Shout out to Jennifer Thibeaux...check out her story on Facebook)! These things are amazing and are reaching us by our own voices, NOT THE LYING ASS MEDIA!!! I love it!
I personally am not out there protesting (at the moment), but I feel I'm there in spirit. I feel like I'm protesting in my own way here at home, and it shows in various ways. I often think of the quote, "Be the change you want to see in the world!" The few things I am passionate about at this time is my child(ren)'s education and how we welcome these beautiful beings into the world! Obviously, we are living in a time where everyone is "...mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" I have been that way for a while and slowly but surely my journey is showing me the way on my path.
I believe that it does take a village to raise a child...I believe that knowledge is power and with the right tools of knowledge, parents will make an informed decision of how they want to birth their babies into this world...with or without my assistance as a midwife or doula...and with all the resources out there, educating our children rather then relying on the state we reside to program our children how to take a test.
Before I began this blog entry, two amazing things happened...both by black men! First, was a post that I was tagged on, from a friend of mine, sharing a story about parents choosing home birth as opposed to hospital birth. The other was a friend having respect not only for himself but me as a mother, to make sure it was OK to accept a friend request from my daughter via Facebook. IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN! I am so proud to see not only men, but black men making their voice heard...taking the time to gain knowledge as well as share it. To not be ashamed for having a relationship with a child, to assist in her growth and experience as a spiritual being having a human experience, not thinking the relationship as "improper". Last but certainly not least, my husband, who I have seen grow as a father, regardless if that child is his biologically or not...and a child that made the decision on her own to address and acknowledge him as her "Pop"! I want to see this happen with EVERY community; however, as a black woman and my first focus is my black community, I applaud it when I see it happening! So many times it gets ignored, yet we still have much work to do!
There is a revolution occurring, and it surely IS NOT always televised, it is happening in our NOW! Are you awake?! What are YOU ready to change in the world?
Wake up, let it go & LOVE! Have a beautiful day everyONE! I love YOU!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Did We Get Disconnected?!
"...People still don't like each other...even our kids don't bring us together..." That is a verse from a song by Kindred The Family Soul entitled "We All Will Know". I look around in the world and this verse constantly comes up...hence the music video of life is playing (lol). How did we get disconnected, not only from each other but from OURSELVES?!
Every aspect of my life there is this disconnection that I know I am not the only one that sees it so vividly. As a hairstylist, sistahs don't like what they see in the mirror to the point they disguise them from themselves with lace fronts & quick weaves, forgetting what they actually look like or who they are. Our mothers and their mothers have talked so negatively about the hair they were born with instead of embracing what they have and being creative; not trying to look like someone on TV. As a teacher, I see the disconnect in my child with her imagination and learning. Teaching in public school involves learning how to take a test that limits ANY imagination...even the teachers lose their desire to expand their imagination to teach....it's all about that testing...gotta love politics! As a doula, some women have a disconnect with themselves, not trusting their own intuition and trusting a medical professional, a surgeon at that, to tell them how THEY should be giving birth. And continuing to trust the profession to diagnose their children conditions never heard of until recently. Why are we not trusting ourselves??? Am I the only one seeing this disconnection?
I have grown so weary of human beings not getting along! We are killing ourselves while blaming others for attempting to kill us and don't even realize it sometimes. I noticed that it begins as soon as we are conceived in the womb, not as soon as we are born into this world. Women getting pregnant and men getting women pregnant as a form of manipulation...that sometimes works and in most cases backfires...then that creates a disconnection....babymama/babydaddy drama! People not loving themselves with enough respect so they are disrespectful to anyone who crosses their path because they look out for #1! There is nothing wrong with loving you...but understand loving you is what helps you to love others, not be selfish with your love. I understand we have been hurt at various levels of our lives, but have you ever asked yourself WHY you feel so hurt and WHY you feel you need others to feel hurt too? This is something that we, as adults, need to get to the root of the problem, or our children are going to (and some are) repeat(ing) the cycle we constantly complain about and THINK there is no hope of breaking.
I am thankful that my eyes are open to such a disconnection. It answers the question, "why am I here?", for me. At times, I feel like a therapist or a life coach, but that's not what I want to do. I want to begin the healing from the womb and let it grow from there. I want my brothers and sisters to know that life is precious...not a medical procedure you go have surgery and leave with a baby. It's so much more than that. If anything, it is a spiritual process that helps us, as spiritual beings having a human experience. It helps us to see just how amazing and powerful we are. The drugs that are developed to "prevent" pain, are already within us, in it's natural state, not a synthetic one. It shows us that even though we have our own emotions that WE have to deal with ourselves, we are able to put aside to bring a new life into the world. I feel that is where we will begin to RECONNECT...
Another song by Kindred chorus that goes a little something like this:
Every aspect of my life there is this disconnection that I know I am not the only one that sees it so vividly. As a hairstylist, sistahs don't like what they see in the mirror to the point they disguise them from themselves with lace fronts & quick weaves, forgetting what they actually look like or who they are. Our mothers and their mothers have talked so negatively about the hair they were born with instead of embracing what they have and being creative; not trying to look like someone on TV. As a teacher, I see the disconnect in my child with her imagination and learning. Teaching in public school involves learning how to take a test that limits ANY imagination...even the teachers lose their desire to expand their imagination to teach....it's all about that testing...gotta love politics! As a doula, some women have a disconnect with themselves, not trusting their own intuition and trusting a medical professional, a surgeon at that, to tell them how THEY should be giving birth. And continuing to trust the profession to diagnose their children conditions never heard of until recently. Why are we not trusting ourselves??? Am I the only one seeing this disconnection?
I have grown so weary of human beings not getting along! We are killing ourselves while blaming others for attempting to kill us and don't even realize it sometimes. I noticed that it begins as soon as we are conceived in the womb, not as soon as we are born into this world. Women getting pregnant and men getting women pregnant as a form of manipulation...that sometimes works and in most cases backfires...then that creates a disconnection....babymama/babydaddy drama! People not loving themselves with enough respect so they are disrespectful to anyone who crosses their path because they look out for #1! There is nothing wrong with loving you...but understand loving you is what helps you to love others, not be selfish with your love. I understand we have been hurt at various levels of our lives, but have you ever asked yourself WHY you feel so hurt and WHY you feel you need others to feel hurt too? This is something that we, as adults, need to get to the root of the problem, or our children are going to (and some are) repeat(ing) the cycle we constantly complain about and THINK there is no hope of breaking.
I am thankful that my eyes are open to such a disconnection. It answers the question, "why am I here?", for me. At times, I feel like a therapist or a life coach, but that's not what I want to do. I want to begin the healing from the womb and let it grow from there. I want my brothers and sisters to know that life is precious...not a medical procedure you go have surgery and leave with a baby. It's so much more than that. If anything, it is a spiritual process that helps us, as spiritual beings having a human experience. It helps us to see just how amazing and powerful we are. The drugs that are developed to "prevent" pain, are already within us, in it's natural state, not a synthetic one. It shows us that even though we have our own emotions that WE have to deal with ourselves, we are able to put aside to bring a new life into the world. I feel that is where we will begin to RECONNECT...
Another song by Kindred chorus that goes a little something like this:
And I never take for granted love
Cuz I know the words you're speaking of
When you sing about the ones you love
Know that we are ONE
We are creation
Every single ONE of us
LOVE has no recession
Maybe if we think about these words, we will begin to like each other and our kids bring us together! That doesn't mean fall in love with the person or people you have children with...understand there is a level of LOVE there, or you wouldn't have children in the first place. Just because it isn't a love you expected (we always expect more...gotta love that ego...lol) doesn't mean we cannot get along, at least for our children. What do you want them to learn from YOU?
Like my daughter says, "I just want everyone to get along so we can play!" I'd rather play on the playground we call Earth than fight with whomever; destroying not only ourselves, but our home!
Wake up, let it go & love! Have a beautiful day everyONE! I love YOU!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Family Dynamics...
I often think about the scripture regarding a man leaving his father and mother and clinging to his wife. I also thought this was weird because I thought, "How can you leave your family behind that raised you once you are married?" I also thought it only applied to men, not women. HA! The experiences I have had not only in my adult life, but married life as well thus far, the message is loud and clear. I have more clarity in what this truly means.
I have struggled with a back and forth, with my mother, many do not know about. Many longtime friends of mine have a picture of my mother and I being thick as thieves, when you saw one, you saw the other. I also noticed that my mother was perfectly happy with our family dynamic, but what about my life? What about what I want to do...maybe have a husband and more kids? Once I decided to break the vicious cycle that my grandmother created and my mother wanted to continue, things changed. I felt like I was being punished for finally saying NO to my parents. That wasn't the case...it was the beginning stages of my leaving my father and mother and beginning my own family.
Fastforward to today...my mother attempts to continue that cycle without me, her only daughter. She found a "replacement" for me in her best friend (she hasn't gotten the memo that I cannot be replaced...one of a kind here!) & even attempts to pull my daughter into that unhealthy nonsense. I feel I have broken a cycle whose end is long overdue, and in the process I have noticed that the more love and freedom I display towards the family I have known since birth they have dismissed themselves one by one. I had to realize, it wasn't me that changed my love, it was them changing their love towards me. While I choose not to place conditions and judgments on my love, judgments and conditions seem to be placed on me by them. The initial reaction is shock & anger, but not so much anymore. Dramas not entertained, soon fades away. I have done and said all I can, openly and honestly to the ones I love...and I am aware that my decisions they may not always agree with and that is ok. My parents taught me how to love, whether they were good experiences or bad ones, I took the lesson...and I am yet learning another valuable one.
Not only are family members running their course, but some long time friends who I consider my family are dismissing themselves as well. I am beginning to notice a pattern...you tell people the TRUTH, and they begin to not like you so much when it's really themselves they aren't liking in that moment. It could be only my truth but I choose not to live behind a facade and if I see it in front of me, I am going to fight through the illusion. One of my "sisters" said something to me the other day about my husband and I, "One thing I know about y'all is whatever/whoever leaves it sure does make its way back to ya!" How true indeed. I have seen people (even animals...LOL) come and go out of my life based on arrogance, never to be seen again. But there are some, whom I may have the craziest connection with...will leave and come back and it be like no time was lost between us.
Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do...I'm learning that if you KNOW there is a place of love for them in your heart, you never really say "goodbye" because love is always going to be there! I pray that one day, all the ones that physically leave my life truly understand how it is I never left or even said goodbye!
Wake up, let it go & LOVE! Make it beautiful everyONE!
I have struggled with a back and forth, with my mother, many do not know about. Many longtime friends of mine have a picture of my mother and I being thick as thieves, when you saw one, you saw the other. I also noticed that my mother was perfectly happy with our family dynamic, but what about my life? What about what I want to do...maybe have a husband and more kids? Once I decided to break the vicious cycle that my grandmother created and my mother wanted to continue, things changed. I felt like I was being punished for finally saying NO to my parents. That wasn't the case...it was the beginning stages of my leaving my father and mother and beginning my own family.
Fastforward to today...my mother attempts to continue that cycle without me, her only daughter. She found a "replacement" for me in her best friend (she hasn't gotten the memo that I cannot be replaced...one of a kind here!) & even attempts to pull my daughter into that unhealthy nonsense. I feel I have broken a cycle whose end is long overdue, and in the process I have noticed that the more love and freedom I display towards the family I have known since birth they have dismissed themselves one by one. I had to realize, it wasn't me that changed my love, it was them changing their love towards me. While I choose not to place conditions and judgments on my love, judgments and conditions seem to be placed on me by them. The initial reaction is shock & anger, but not so much anymore. Dramas not entertained, soon fades away. I have done and said all I can, openly and honestly to the ones I love...and I am aware that my decisions they may not always agree with and that is ok. My parents taught me how to love, whether they were good experiences or bad ones, I took the lesson...and I am yet learning another valuable one.
Not only are family members running their course, but some long time friends who I consider my family are dismissing themselves as well. I am beginning to notice a pattern...you tell people the TRUTH, and they begin to not like you so much when it's really themselves they aren't liking in that moment. It could be only my truth but I choose not to live behind a facade and if I see it in front of me, I am going to fight through the illusion. One of my "sisters" said something to me the other day about my husband and I, "One thing I know about y'all is whatever/whoever leaves it sure does make its way back to ya!" How true indeed. I have seen people (even animals...LOL) come and go out of my life based on arrogance, never to be seen again. But there are some, whom I may have the craziest connection with...will leave and come back and it be like no time was lost between us.
Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do...I'm learning that if you KNOW there is a place of love for them in your heart, you never really say "goodbye" because love is always going to be there! I pray that one day, all the ones that physically leave my life truly understand how it is I never left or even said goodbye!
Wake up, let it go & LOVE! Make it beautiful everyONE!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The Babies Are Coming...
It seems just about everyday I hear a new life is on its way! I am so overjoyed to hear because one, who doesn't love welcoming a new life into the world, especially the New Age we are entering; the other reason is it expands my ability to be of service to others. Therefore, I advertise my services...tell a friend!
Celestial Beginnings Doula Services
"Connecting the euphoric touch within the family circle"
Leah Register
(713) 689-0382
celestialbeginningsdoula@gmail.com
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